I'm a bit tired now. All this huffing and puffing over historic stuff taxes a man's soul. We had to elect Obama because he would be the first half black president. Historic! We did and it turned out he was less competent than Barney Fifie.
Now we have to elect Hillary because it would be you know, historic. She's a woman. First of all I want a DNA test. I have questions. Questions not quite as in depth as the ones I have for Michelle Obama. That woman is either a sock enthusiast or packing more cock than a chicken farm. So just to be clear I am supposed to vote for Hillary because she may not have testicles?
How bloody convenient. The woman is a proven liar has more scandals than a soap opera and is less likeable than genital warts. I suppose having a voice that is slightly more off puting than a Canadian's back molars being raked across a chalkboard doesn't help much either.
Doesn't matter. She has breasts.
She put convenience and her personal business ahead of national security and then lied about it. Of course Barry said she was only "careless" but they both have matching vaginas. I think. As I said, I have questions.
Over the last decade or so the issue of affirmative action has reared its controversial head. Should it be done away with. Well it seems pointless to debate that when it is all the rage at the executive level. At the executive level however it's also a race and gender shield from shortcomings. In President Obama's case it was his lack of experience on everything and weaker than light beer voting record. As a state senator it seems the only time he wanted to vote was on issues regarding infanticide. Something he relished in a Vincent Price sort of way.
And now we have Hillary. Possibly the worst candidate this side of Charles Manson. We know why she only wears pantsuits. Skirts can't cover up all the scandals and lies. However the pantsuits are at this point bursting at the seems. Soon she will need to graduate to a burqa. I hear they have them in Libya.
Who cares. She's a woman! And we have to have a woman president. Anything else is misogynistic. Bras will be burned! We constantly hear how qualified she is. Okay what are these qualifications? Oh dear. I just committed a micro aggression. Never ask about her real qualifications. Accomplishments. Never point out being married to the president is not an accomplishment. Especially when the marriage is less authentic than a Rolex bought in Chinatown. Apparently if you're a woman running for president your senatorial record should never be looked at if it is less than non existent. How dare anyone expect the person whom the media considered the smartest woman in the word for two decades actually do something productive in congress. That's just not right.
It works, however. It worked for Barry for nearly seven years. Any criticism of the greatest, smartest, most awesomest president of all time was obviously racist. Obamacare is failing not because it's a poorly written, naively constructed mess but because Obama is black. (well sort of black). The affirmative action shield works a treat for unqualified and disqualified candidates.
Why not scrap historic for competent? Wouldn't it be historic to have a black president? Wouldn't it be historic to have a woman president? What about the first dwarf president or tall lesbian president with unusual hip deformities? How about this; a president that actually does what he or she promised to do, has ideas, can be trusted and never raped or groped anyone.
That might be a first. Historic even.
