Submitted by The Boo Man on Sun, 06/30/2019 - 21:56

So many deplorables. Not enough words to discuss them. Even less time to tolerate them. It was a bounty of buffoonery. A parade of pandering...And the guy who likes penises. No, not the sanctimonious mayor but the Chinese guy...

Let's just jump right into it. Eric Swalwell. He's fun. He looks like a LEGO person, sounds like a thick politician and...well that's about it. He wants to confiscate your guns at nukepoint. Oh the irony. This neckless wonder is polling less than cholera. I'm not sure he makes it to the next debate. If he does hopefully the moderators will ask him to produce the evidence of Russian collusion he says he has but has yet to reveal. That would be nice.

Kristen Gillibrand. There is a reason why she's less popular than bed bugs and she demonstrated why on Thursday. She has the manners of a screeching Neanderthal. She figured her only chance was to be obnoxious and talk over everybody. If manners maketh man then manners killed the vacuous candidate from New York. Talking over people just isn't enough to win. Especially when everyone knows she's a fake and will say anything. It's a bit ironic since she filled the seat vacated by Hillary Clinton. The two of them could be the sisters of the traveling pantsuits.

Skating along we come to Beto. Oh how the mediocre have fallen. Once Hollywood thought he was the greatest thing since Roman Polanski. Now they pretend he never ate dirt...or existed. Beto was more unprepared than Joe Biden. This shouldn't be a surprise since Beto has never said anything of substance ever. He is however great at reacting. Any time a democrat accuses him of not supporting a specific policy he immediately responds with "hell yeah I support that!". The DNC should be pushing him because he would be the ultimate puppet. Other than being vacant and impotent what good is he? I guess being awkward and pasty only works for Woody Allen. Beto is not ready for prime time. Or part time. Or any time. He's speaks Spanish though. I guess that's something. Beto's time to shine is much like a virgin. It never came.

Then there is Bill DeBlasiao who might be one post birth abortion from being the worst new Yorker ever. I'll leave that up to the New Yorkers. New York was a toilet with guns. Then Rudy Guiliani moved into the mayor's office. Times Square became safer than the Vatican. Now we have Bill and Andrew and it's 1975 all over again. Democrats really care about homeless people. So much so they have ruined the NYC economy so there will be more of them. Comrade Bill beat up on Beto. He had to. That's all he is capable of doing. It's the low hanging fruit thing. That was all he had. Basically he beat up on the kid in the wheelchair who waves at everyone from his porch. In case you weren't aware Bill De Blasio is running for president and is the mayor of New York. Not many people know that...    Or care.

In my opinion Bernie was the biggest bust of all. For someone who has been advocating for Socialism in America for more than a century and basing his second presidential campaign on it he still cannot explain how he will implement his policies. In fact when asked that very question he gave the most pathetic answer of the night.  it was cross between "just because" and "when the people rise up" The old Muppet's plan is to wait for the American people to tell the insurance companies to go away. Then he can do is Medicare for all thing. Well, Bernie when the people rise up they still expect YOU to implement the policies. That's what they are paying you to do. That is why they voted for you. It looks like his presidency would be like his entire life. Expecting other people to do the work for him. He was invisible because we've all heard it before. As soon as he says "millionaires and billionaires" everybody tunes him out. He's done. He doesn't know it yet but he's done and he won't go gently into the good night.

I wanted to talk about Andrew Yang but he forgot to bring his Ying so I'll talk about everyone's favorite gay mayor of South Bend instead. Did everyone know the mayor of South Bend was gay? Had everyone heard of South Bend bend before 2019? Is this special? Is being a gay mayor from a town in Indiana a prerequisite for the presidency? If not why isn't he simply  referred to as Pete Buttigieg? I hate being lectured to and I hate listening to sanctimonious dipshits acting like they are the arbiters of what is decent and moral and in this case Christian. Pete Buttigieg, the gay mayor from South Bend Indiana loves to tell us how unchristian the President and Vice President are and yet when asked about his position on late term abortion he refused to answer. Looks like Pete Buttigieg, the gay mayor from South Bend Indiana has no problems with babies being aborted up to the moment of birth. That's mighty cowardly and reprehensible of you, super Christian.

As far as winners go the runner up is Julian Castro. Finally someone brave enough to stand up and champion the right for men everywhere to have abortions. Well done Mr. Castro. The winner of course is Marianne Williamson. She might not be all there but she was the only one on the stage either night that did not exude an aura of hate and elitism.  She did however target New Zealand. "My first call is to the prime minister of New Zealand, who said her goal was to make New Zealand the place where it’s the best place in the world for a child to grow up. And I will tell her, 'Girlfriend, you are so on.' Because the United States of America is going to be the best place in the world for a child to grow up."

You know your bench is weak when your best candidate is a hippy who wants to go to war with New Zealand.