You are here

Chris Christie is livid and hungry

Like many conservatives, I was a Chris Christie fan when he waddled onto the national scene in 2009, riding the new tea party wave to beat incumbent Marxist NJ Governor Jon Corzine.  During his campaign, Christie, like many liberals, ran as a conservative.  After he was elected, he stood up to teachers unions and preached austerity, which sealed the deal for many of us watching him from a distance.

Then facts started to bubble to the surface.

As it turns out, he's not a fan of the Second Amendment.  He tried to couch his position by using language like "common sense", and blaming NJ for not being open to more freedom, but we've seen Christie when he really bites down on something.  If he was at all pro-Second Amendment, we'd know about it.

He buys into the global warming scam.  Loves Common Core.  He defended the Mosque at Ground Zero.  He turned out to be a friend to the private sector unions.  He proved to be an unapologetic liberal's liberal, which is probably why Trump really liked him.

Smash-cut to a post-lap-band surgery Presidential candidate.  Governor Christie really wanted to become the nominee after he dropped out.  He was enjoyable, and fun to watch, like a clown at a circus.  It was great when he caused Marco Rubio to short-circuit and turn into Rubio-bot 3000, or when Rand applied some heat and made Christie run to the 9/11 well.  It was like Kerry with Vietnam.  We get it, Governor, NJ is close to NY, so by proximity, you knew a lot of people in NY affected by 9/11 and somehow that makes you more qualified to be President.

He brought a lot of laughs.  That one Trump speech when he stood behind his leader and looked like a hostage victim was hilarious.  The fat jokes for days, which I can never get enough of.  Watching him really think he had a shot at President was the biggest laugh of all.  In the end, he tried to bite off more than he could chew.

So, it came down to cop killer Mike Huckabee, Mike Pence, Newt Gingrich, and Chris Christie.  I really thought cop killer Mike Huckabee was going to seal the deal with Donald.  He had the Fox News connection, was a cop killing Governor, wore a Trump tie in the debate and used the debate stage to promote it, and was taking shots at actual conservatives for Donald.  He seemed the likely choice to me.

For whatever reason, the cop killer was passed over, and Gingrich was next in line.  His handsomeness aside, people who pretended to be serious Trump supporters wanted him.  Trump spokesperson Sean Hannity even went and scooped him up on his jet and gave him door-to-door service to New Jersey.  Apparently, Trump's kids even wanted Newt.

Christie became really desperate.  He apparently transitioned into Trump's personal assistant.  Trump would even send Christie out for McDonalds.  I'm not sure if I believe this one, however.  We've all picked up some fast food for someone, and on the way home, started to nibble on their fries, trying to not eat too much where they have at least 3/4 left, and you can blame the rest on falling out of the bag or whatever.  Can you imagine a lunch that could survive the trip with Chris Christie as the gopher?  Me neither, so I don't buy into this.  If I wanted a Diet Coke, I'd send Christie out for three double cheeseburger meals, knowing the Diet Coke would make it back to me.

Christie also gave up Oreos for Donald.  In fairness, it wasn't his choice.  Donald ordered him to quit.  Christie even threw his weight around with NJ GOP to influence them to endorse Trump.  He really did try to serve Donald as best as he could.  He always did what he was told, like when Donald told him to get back on the plane and go home. He was a very loyal to Trump.

I never really thought Christie had a chance.  After all, he put Ivanka's father-in-law in jail.  Yes, the father of the son who was mercilessly roasted by his own family for bringing up grandpappy in the holocaust days when trying to defend Donald for his star tweet.

The latest I read is Manafort was heard telling another guy that Christie was livid at Pence getting the call.  Poor Governor Christie.  He could almost taste those White House chef-prepared meals.  If Donald had a heart, he'd hire Christie to be his personal food taster.  Governor Christie would be happy to do it, and would really enjoy it.

The bright side for Governor Christie is he'd only be on the ticket until November until Hillary wins, so he didn't really lose anything in the end, except maybe his pride.  Maybe a few pounds.  If anyone can swallow his pride, you know Chris Christie can do it, and go back for seconds.